Politricks and t'ings and t'ings

Bob Marley called it "focking bullshit." And since I've never been one to argue a Marley point, I'm inclined to agree. Twice, in fact, to show extra support. He was referring to politics and the dynamics thereof.

The fact of the matter is our world is rampant with gross abuse of diplomacy and public relations. Our businesses, governments and entertainment targets are awash in dirty-water spin, and the worst part might very well be the ignorance these groups feign when their spade is called for what it is.

To get right to the point, public relations remains a tainted profession for one simple reason -- it's dangerous in the hands of amateurs. Take the recent case in the US in which the wife of the nation's largest church was kicked off a flight for "failing to comply with the flight attendant's instructions." The part that kills me is someone speaking on behalf of the wife dared suggest that it was a mutual thing. Yes, I'm sure the wife voluntarily removed herself from the plane, because lord knows there's nothing anyone wants more than to spend extra time in an airport, wrestling with airline staff to find an alternative flight to Vail, Colorado. I mean, Vail is going to be there waiting for us no matter when we leave, so why rush to get there?

Apparently the God business isn't as good as I would have thought. Wouldn't the lord want the pastor of the largest church in the world's most powerful country to have his own plane? Now, I know I wasn't on the flight, so I hate to jump to conclusions. But the story roughly plays out as follows:

1. Rich bitch gets on a plane with her celebrity family
2. Ugggh, traveling with the plebes is worse than death ... couldn't Vail just come to us?
3. Oh, now who spilled water on my tray? Stewardess!!!
4. What do you mean you have other duties to attend to? I expect to be put in front of everything else!
5. Fine, I'm taking my ball, and I'm going home!!

Interestingly, she would have been the first bitch to get whacked by King Kong when he busted loose in the New York theater, as she epitomizes the very bourgeois evils at play in the story.

My real intention in raising the topic of PR Gone Bad was to highlight an interesting sequence of events that seems to be transpiring as we speak. I'm heading out to Cozumel over New Year's with my wife and friends, and I can't tell you how amazed I am to not get a single, objective, authoritative and complete account of the state of affairs in Cozumel, post Wilma. On one hand, you have the government's propaganda machine churning to ensure tourism doesn't suffer from its own special form of dysentery. On the other hand, you have a contingent of rumor-mill misinformation, which in the case of tragic events tends to overstate the severity of a situation (e.g., "Bodies every, for miles and miles" translates to "I saw a couple of dead people on the street, but some might have been nothing more than homeless people getting some rest").

Point being, there are some funny elements at play here, and the sad reality is these parties don't seem to realize that they're actually creating more headaches by not being painfully blunt. Because when propaganda pervades and prevails, the opposite and equal reaction inevitably arrives like the cavalry to polarize the situation. The result is a tsunami of half-truths and false accounts that only serve to confound an already intractable situation. And what does that mean? Well, it means that no one ever knows the truth, which in the end is worse than what the actual truth is.

So what's the lesson learned here kiddies? Be careful with your words, but don't try blowing smoke up our asses. We're too smart for that.

What blows my mind the most is the information age, with all its fancy blogs, rss feeds and uber-access technologies, has failed to reveal someone (anyone, for christ's sake) with a worthwhile account of Conzumel's current state. Yes, I realize the Mexican government is frowning upon anyone taking pictures of devastation in the region. And I realize that the sparse tourism in the area means a reduced chance for reports to make it online. Add to this the fact that things are changing daily, and you can kiss your chances of accurate reports goodbye.

And here's where the PR novices go astray. It would make more sense for the government, its tourism board or a consortium of local businesses to maintain a daily diary of the progress rather than issuing a sweeping press release that's out of date by the time it hits the wire. Be blunt, be honest, and balance it with genuine optimism and details on progress. Good PR can tell the truth without sacrificing brand objectives in the process ... but you have to know what you're doing.

This brings us back to the preacher's wife. Why try to hit us with some BS story in which you make yourself out to be the one who called the shots? That just reinforces the negative perception we already have of you. It would have been much better to issue a mea culpa, something along the lines of "As fellow travelers can perhaps understand, I allowed the stress of a travel day to get the better of me. As a result, I lost my patience and showed disrespect to the people who work very hard to make air travel as safe and easy as possible. I regret my actions, as they do not reflect my true personality. I apologize to the flight attendants, my family and our many friends for this unfortunate situation. I appreciate their understanding in this matter and their willingness to look past my momentary lapse of better judgment."

And just like that, she is again human and someone we can relate to.