Shame, shame ... we know your name!

I want Ricky Williams to know that I love him. I want Lindsey Jacobellis to know that I love her. I want Wayne Gretzky to know that I love him. I want the Swedish and American womens' hockey teams to know that I love them both. I'm not on board with the decision that kept Cammie Granato from skating with Team USA, but I'll always be in favor of parity.

And as much as I can't stand Jarko Ruutu (he's a Canuck for Christ's sake) ... I can't think of a team who wouldn't want him.

As for Barry Bonds, Bob Costas and his crew, Simon Cowell and his gang ... y'all can eat a big, fat d***. I like the asterisk in this case ... because if Bonds does happen to break records in what he deems his final season, there won't be an eraser big enough to strike out the stipulation attached to any Bonds record.

Costas is a guy I respect, but he should have stepped up and called the shots when NBC and its second-rate reporters decided to lambast Lindsey Jacobellis for what was nothing more than some excitement gone awry. F*** them for leveraging her star status to pull in some viewers, then dashing her brilliance with some crap wrap-up piece on her gold-medal giveaway. She made a mistake dude; she isn't' OJ masquerading as a snowboarder. What's more, she's young, and no one's heart will ever ache more than her own. She'll be back ... count on that. But to shun her and burn her skin with a scarlet letter is as shameful of an act as any we've witnessed in some time.

I was ready to call for a boycott of American Idol so that NBC could demonstrate that people really do care about patriotism. But NBC has shown itself to be even less worthy than the Fox popularity contest.

Oh, and while we're at it, I want Kelly Clarkson to know I love her. Shining Simon et al in her Grammy acceptance speech was pure genius. To be perfectly frank, I don't truly hate Simon. I could have beer after beer with the bloke. But he's a product of the so-so meets success. Every now and then, the sun shine on a dog's ass. I don't have a problem with that, except for when the dog's ass truly is an undeserving dag. It just reinforces and intensifies the asshole persona. And let's all agree that Cowell has the role down pat. He's a good guy really, but he's the one that everyone never wanted to support. So when success fell into his lap, we all moaned and mourned. Bummer that a pommie like that could snatch the gold from the rest of America, but I can't fault him for it. Just those who made it possible.

For those I've given love to -- don't let the bastards grind you down. Ricky, don't live up to someone else's vision of you. Lindsey, keep your head up baby; I believe in you. Cammie, you've been the consummate professional, and I'll forever respect you for taking the high road. Team USA, don't lose faith ... as much as it pains you, this is a good thing for women's hockey. And Team Sweden -- good luck ladies. I hope this becomes your very own Miracle on Ice. To the Great One ... keep pushing back brother. Martha Stewart ain't your cousin buddy.

To the rest of you ... for shame. Time to check your karma balance and reconcile accordingly!